Found this list of Homer Simpson's life lessons and thought I'd pass my favorites along.
"Kids are like monkeys, only louder."
"When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word. "
"You can have many different jobs and still be lazy."
"You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions."
"There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten. "
"The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks. "
"There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them -- starting with 8. I've always hated 8. "
"When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness."
"My favorite color is chocolate."
I can't believe they left out, "Donuts, is there anything they can't do"
If you're really bored you can read life lessons from Pamela Anderson, Ozzy Osbourne, Tom Petty andHeather Locklear.