If I had seen this story today I'd have thought it was a joke, but I saw it yesterday.
I have to admit to having some weird thoughts (Nose Hair Trimmer of the Gods), but I never once looked at a picnic table and thought, "Damn, I gotta HIT that!"
Meanwhile right-wing nutjob Glenn Beck thinks huge oil company profits are great for us common everyday folks. After all, he claims the average American has plenty of Exxon stock in his 401K plan. I haven't seen the statistics but I wonder just how many Americans have 401K plans. Oh, and more people are on food stamps, not because the economy is ruled by greedy corporations who won't pay decent wages, but because more people realize they can get them.
Meanwhile, everyone is having to make sacrifices in these hard times. These poor people had to trade in their Corvette for a Suburban!! if you can believe that. I gotta tell you, there's nothing sadder than some poor white people who can barely afford their mansion on the coast.
At least no kids tried to con me today.