Saturday, February 10, 2007

We're #1!

Here in Texas, the birthplace of NCLB type "reforms" we've obtained considerable status in regards to other states. For example Texas is:

- 1st in the percentage of uninsured children
- 1st in food insecurity
- 1st in child abuse deaths
- 1st in the number of incarcerated adults
- 2nd in the percentage of the population that goes hungry
- 2nd in teen pregnancy
- 5th in the overall poverty rate
- 6th in crime
- 47th in income and food stamps benefits for the neediest
- 50th in the percentage of fully-immunized two-year-olds

In his never ending quest to make his friends rich and look like he cares about Texas children remedy these deplorable numbers, Gov. Goodhair Perry has proposed cutting state services even further to pay for property tax reductions. Texas schools will receive zero new dollars over the next two years, meaning that once again Texas will be the only state in the union to cut per student funding.


The complete report can be read at Tom Paine.


Anonymous said...

Nothing biased about that site. Thanks for everything.

Unknown said...

Texas first in football & bizness, last in children and education. how sad.

Anonymous said...

Hey now! But at least Governor Goodhair has mandated by executive decree that every girl in Texas must have an anti-cervical cancer vaccination by the age of 12.

True, it only prevents 70% of cervical cancers, and yes, the company making the virus has close ties to his hairness, and OK already, in the short time the virus has been available, a large numbe rof nasty reactions to the drug have occurred, but hey, Mr. coiffure knows what's best for us all!

Anonymous said...

Girls don't drop out because of cervical cancer. Where I am, they drop out because they are pregnant. Yet sex education programs are abstinence based. Riiiight.

I'd prefer students who fucked liked bunnies but managed to graduate to the poor saps who tried to leave room for the holy spirit, but slipped up. Literally.

Anonymous said...

Go die, Giggles. There are pockets of poverty in Texas that would make you think you were looking at a Brazilian favela.

I have a brilliant kid this year in my class. He has the kind of mind that other people have trouble keeping up with. This winter, though, he was falling asleep in class. When he wasn't drowsing, he was out of his seat, wandering aimlessly.

(This kid, like most of his classmates, lives in trailer housing. This isn't usually a problem in the desert, but it's winter and we've been having a cold snap.)

I asked him what was wrong, and after a bit of hemming and hawing he said that he was cold at night, and he and his brother (with whom he shared the bed) couldn't sleep. Then he cried, because he was ashamed that he wasn't doing well in class, and because he just couldn't keep up. Because he was cold.

A dollar store blanket was all he needed. He's back to his normal self- in fact he got 3rd place in the district science fair today.

He's sure to bring glory to Gov. Goodhair and the NCLB Nation because he'll be passing his 3rd grade TAKS test Feb 20, which he'll be taking in English, which is not his native language. He's smart. Really smart.

Goodhair and Bush will get to claim him as another success story this year, but he did this despite them. I hope for his sake that he continues to succeed. I hope he doesn't get a girl pregnant, or get arrested or expelled from school for some stupid thing.

But if he does, Texas won't know about it. There are many ways to disguise a dropout. We've found and exploited them all.

CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

Hmm, isn't Texas also first in the number of executions of prisoners per year?

Mister Teacher said...

You know what ricky Bobby says, "If you're not first, you're last."
So some of the stats shouldn't even count...