Carnival of Education, The RoadTrip Edition

In honor of The Education Wonks, who are on the road to their summer home, allow me to present The Road Trip Edition of the Carnival of Education.



My Daily Reads


Did you learn ANYTHING this year? Well, the Science Goddess did and she's reflecting on them as she transitions to summer vacation.

Where else would you find a post titled Diplomas and Gorditas except at Learn Me Good? How long will it be before one of us is working at Wal-Mart High or Chik-Fil-A Elementary? If you like the blog then you'll definitely like The Book.





And speaking of McDonalds, would any of us enjoy being referred to as a McTeacher? Could those 10 hour school days at KIPP schools really be about teaching kids to blindly accept authority and long hours? Next week's host NYC Educator takes on the KIPPers.


Talk about your meltdowns, how about a principal using his office to buy crack cocaine? The Ed Wonks have labeled him the wanker of the day.


It seems like every week there is a new study released about education. Over at 3σ Left they examine a study they believe will be ignored.

Higher Education

How would you like to go to college for free? Campus Grotto has the lowdown on affordable colleges, and if you search the list carefully you'll find the one that's free for state residents.

But what if there are gaps in your college admission application? Mathew K. Tabor is the man you want to talk to then.

Campus Crime is a big topic these days, but what about crimes that are not so spectacularly horrible as the Virginia Tech shootings? Why Homeschool looks at a university that tried to cover up a murder in order to protect its image.

Inside The Blogs

Have you heard of Isaac Asimov's 3 Laws of Robotics? At Scenes From The Battlefield they've finished work on The Second Law of Behaviour Management. NOW I'm all curious as to what the first law was.



Are you already dreading thinking about next year? Frumteacher is and he has a list of resolutions for the 2007-2008 school year.

If you're a Science teacher in the state of Georgia you might want to check out the EIC Conference. It has a great deal of ideas for teaching in the great outdoors, as well as the story of a group of children who managed to get their state legislature to pass their bill.

Ever wondered how to tie Chemistry and Literature together? The ChemJerk has a list of summer reading in chemistry.

Another group of words I never thought I'd see together in the same sentence are physics or social justice. Is the PC mindset infiltrating even the hard science fields of education?

Teachers fear standardized tests as simplistic assessments of performance, which are then used as indicators of school success. Sound familiar? Not only is it happening in the U.S. but in Denmark also, where The Tempered Radical weighs in with observations about a trip to observe education in Denmark. I also wrote about a school in Denmark where students strip for the best seats at lunchtime.

California Teacher Dude Guy is currently searching for a teaching position, and his submission is entitled Thirteen Random Reasons Why Your School Should Hire CaliforniaTeacherGuy, making him 30% better than anyone with a Top Ten list.

I'd never heard of the term digital native until I received this entry from Life Without School. Even more interesting is the term Digital Immigrant, which is probably the category I fall in. I meet some of the qualifications, but I'd never figured out the R2D2 could shove bad guys off the walkways in Star Wars Lego.

I love finding a good deal, and The Digerati Life has come up with a list of Cheap Ways To Learn And Feed Your Brain.

Did You Know is an awesome look at facts regarding education and employment. Be sure to follow their link to Did You Know 2.0 and view the presentation.

I've heard it said that kindergarten is the new first grade, and the Scholar's Notebook agrees. Their submission to the carnival is called The manufactured crisis in kindergarten readiness and, you won't believe this, a company that sells materials to school districts is helping to spread the alarm.

I was hoping someone would tackle the ETS survey results about NCLB and Horse Sense and Nonsense has done it in this post. If case you're wondering here is how the "question" was presented to the respondents:

“The No Child Left Behind Act provides federal funds for school districts with poor children in order to close achievement gaps. It also requires states to set standards for education and to test students each year to determine whether the standards are being met by all students. In addition, No Child Left Behind provides funding to help teachers become highly qualified. It also provides additional funding and prescribes consequences to schools that fail to achieve academic targets set by their state. Based on this statement and anything else you may have heard, would you say that you have a favorable or an unfavorable opinion of the NCLB Act?”

I was lucky enough to grow up with a football field sized neutral ground in front of my house and a neighborhood full of kids to play with. When was the last time you saw a large group of kids playing outside in your neighborhood?, wonders Mrs. Bluebird. The only kids who play outside in my neighborhood have a basketball goal up in the driveway, and wait till after sundown when it's cooler.

Some people seem to know a lotta big fancy words. Silvia has some thoughts on a large vocabulary.

Privatization Issues

Privatization is a big issue among the "reform" crowd, but what about the privatization of non-instructional services? wonders Mr. Pullen.

Going to the Mat weighs in with the story of a group of parents who want to start an all girl charter school.

Next Week's Carnival

Next week's carnival will be hosted at NYC Educator. Please submit all entries to nyceducator[at]gmail[dot]com no later than 6 P.M. EST, or you can use this handy form.

Please Send Your Carnival Entries

To me, Mike in Texas, via mikea3_98@yahoo.cm by Tuesday, 10 P.M. CST.

What Do Teachers Make?

I know most teachers have probably already read these words, but I thought it was interesting to hear and see the person say them. His name is Taylor Mall. The video comes courtesy of Youtube and Teach42.

I'm The Redneck King of The Neighborhood

"We're" currently remodeling our bathroom, and when I say "we" I mean "me" of course. Oh it's not like my wife doesn't have important parts, from changing her mind about colors to criticizing my work, but painting and flooring are just not her thing.

Because I will be redoing the floor, the toilet has had to come out and currently resides on our back patio, making me the redneck king of the neighborhood.


Anytime I see a neighbor outside I'm tempted to go outside with a book and take a seat, maybe install a toilet paper holder.

Hit The Beach With The Science Goddess And The Carnival of Education

This week's edition of the Carnival of Education is a
Back To The Beach special with posts from some of my favorite bloggers, including Mr. Teachers, The Education Wonks and Ms. Corneilus, along with a host of other fine entries.

Next week's carnival will be hosted by yours truly. Please send submission to me, mikea3_98@yahoo.com

Sometimes I Just Don't Know What To Say About A Story

This is one of those times:

Students' stage strip for teachers

Teachers have refused to stop an annual striptease by pupils despite a video of an onstage lesbian love romp ending up on YouTube.

But officials at the school in Denmark are fighting to hold onto the annual event.

A spokesman said: 'The girls' teachers vote as the best get the best places on the tables in the canteen.'

Erik Olesen, head teacher at Silkeborg said everyone, including the school governors, had known about the contest and described it as 'harmless fun'.

But news of the striptease got out when some of the girls this year stripped naked and began to touch each other's breasts - then started rubbing baby oil over each other's bodies.

Two girls put on a lesbian show to cheering classmates and teachers

The whole incident was filmed by four other students on their mobile phones who then posted it on the internet. It has since been removed from YouTube.

The girls were only stopped from going further by teachers.

Headmaster Olesen said: 'I think they forgot what they were doing and where they were. But my concern now is not to punish anyone, but protect the girls who are now all over the internet.

'As for the students who recorded the contest, they didn't realize they had done anything illegal and I have had a long talk with them.'

But he added that he had no plans to scrap the striptease competition at the school. 'I am sure nothing like this will happen again,' he said.

'And anyway, the girls who did this didn't win the competition because their performance was over the top.'

Film of the girls stripping off in front of teachers and pupils sparked outrage among education chiefs who now want it banned.

I haven't checked any of the far-right anti-public school religious reform sites but isn't Denmark one of those countries they always mention as having better schools than us?

The whole story can be found here but be warned, some of the links from this site contain adult natured materials.

Somewhere There Are Baytown Teachers Being Held Accountable For This Kid's Test Scores

I've been closely following the story of the 4 kids killed in the Baytown crash and the story has become interesting, to say the least.

First of all, the driver survived and his actions are being dismissed by his mother. She has supposedly said her son, Bobby Davis, was just trying to get one of the girls home and that's why he was driving so fast. Incidentally, one of those killed was her son and Bobby's younger brother.

Apparently then, Mom knew little Bobby was driving without a license and driving a stolen vehicle at 3:30 in the morning. After seeing Mom's myspace page I think I can see why Bobby is the way he is, especially after reading this note he left for his MOTHER:

holy fucking shit i just tried one of those ringtone sites advertised on myspace and they really do work...i got some crystal clear ringtones for my phone instantly. i am talking about some cadillac shit here! you just gotta see for yourself, just copy and paste this site in your browser:

I would have rung my child's neck for leaving his mother a message like that, and his mother would have too.

Bobby wasn't exactly hanging around with a group of future brain surgeons if you examine some of the comments left on his myspace page:

bobby oh shit when i seen that shit on the news i could not believe what i was seein fool but dang hang in there yo im here for you if you need to talk playa but you shouldnt be sad cuz we all know hes in a better place so dont look foward or back look up stay cool

bobby omg this is so freakin crazy like i heard about the wreck and i was like damn like it was bad and that i felt bad for the people and their families in the wreck and then i found out that you were in it and that austin had died and so did loral and her cousin and your girlfriend and like i almost started cryin cuz like i actually knew people that were in the wreck and like i know that i don't know you that well but we did hang out a couple times and when we hung out we had a whole lot of fun like that day at dayton ole times day when it was me you melissa and elmo hangin out and we all rode rides and stuff and thank god you came so i had someone to ride with i'm so glad that i got to hang out with you that night and it sucks that this had to happen i'm so freakin sorry and i hope that you get threw this we don't need any more loses i hope so bad that you pull threw this and don't blame yourself for what happened i'm prayin for you and your family and everyone

Somewhere some teachers were probably raked over the coals, or in Bush's words, had their feet held to the fire, over this idiot's test scores.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Out of Baytown, near Houston , comes this tragic story of 4 teenagers killed at an unlit railroad crossing. A terrible tragedy for sure, but as I read into the story I found something highly disturbing.

The victims died instantly early Thursday when the stolen SUV they were in slammed into a parked train.

It happened at a crossing at Archer Road and Fleming around 3:30 a.m

The 4 teenagers killed in this horrible accident were 14, 14, 13 and 12. Three of them were females.

What in the world were two 14 year old girls and one 12 year old girl doing out at 3:30 in the morning riding around in a stolen SUV??? Where were the parents of these children? One of them had snuck out, but what about the other 3?

The community, and in particular some of the parents of those killed, are blaming the railroad company for having an unlit railroad crossing, but the fact of the matter is, these kids were out when they shouldn't have been, doing things they shouldn't have been doing.

What a stupid, senseless tragedy. I for one would favor the death penalty for the driver, if he survives.

Do We Rely Too Much On Technology?

Yesterday some friends traveled to Schlitterbahn to meet us. Early in the morning I called my friend to coordinate our arrival times, as we had already purchased discount tickets for them. My friend informed me they were in Hearne, Texas, which is about 20 miles NORTH of the route we usually take. When I asked him why he went that way his answer was it was the route Yahoo maps indicated.

Now my friend is no dummy. He has a college degree and was a Wal-Mart manager for 15 years. Somehow the idea of consulting a map or an atlas never occurred to him, and he went a long way out of his way. The same thing happened to a brother of mine, when he visited after evacuating for Hurricane Katrina.

Upon arriving home, and after following my instructions on a better route back, my friend informed me my way had cut 60 miles off the trip.

Who says computers always know better?

Blogging With An Empty Wallet

I'm currently blogging from Austin,Tx, where the Sheration Hotel apparently has designs on taking every last bit of money we have.

My wife is here for a conference, and my daughter and I have tagged along. So far I've been shocked to discover:

1. I have to pay an extra $10 a day for internet access.

2. We have to pay 12 bucks a day plus taxes to park in the hotel's parking garage.

3. The bottled water in my room costs $5 a dollar.

I know some of you will be quick to point out I'm just a rube from East Texas, but a couple of weeks ago when we were here for my son's graduation we had free parking, free breakfast and free internet, just at a different hotel.

My wife chose the Sheraton because it is where her conference is being held. I would have gladly dropped her off and stayed somewhere else.

Shocking Tanks

I have GOT to get me these!

Texas Charters Are The Biggest TAKS Cheats

From the "things you won't see posted on reform websites" comes this story and this story. Texas schools have taken a beating in the press, with many newspapers calling for investigations of TAKS cheating. However, an in-depth study found that most of the cheating goes on at Texas charter schools.

Advocates of charters often claim market forces will drive the bad ones out, but in one of the stories I found these tidbits:

TEA has spent much of the last decade pursuing sanctions or other actions against Gulf Shores and its parent organization, Gulf Shores Academy. The charter system has a history of financial and academic problems, including a roughly $8 million debt to the state for over-reporting student attendance. State officials have, for several years, been trying to shut down the school.

Alphonso Crutch's has also long been among the state's most troubled charter schools, with state officials having tried – and failed – to shut it down several years ago.

So much for state oversite and market forces. I look forward to sharing these newspapers stories at several of the "reform" websites.

Why Is It?

I often watch the"Commodities and Markets" section of CNN and monitor the price of gasoline futures. Given that I may a 50 mile round trip to work everyday it directly effects my wallet.

What I'm wondering is, how come if the price of futures goes up 10 cents a gallon the price of gas at the pump immediately goes up, but if the price goes down it takes days for there to be a decrease?

Just curious.

Spamalot!

Last night we traveled to the Theater Under the Stars and saw the Broadway production of Spamalot!. For those of you who are not familiar with the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail I would highly suggest watching the movie first. If you are a fan, you will find the play absolutely hilarious!

On The First Day of My Summer Vacation, I Woke Up . . .

Today is my first official day of summer vacation. I have absolutely nothing planned to do today, except maybe try out my new racquetball racket ($23.99 at Academy, thank you very much).

My wife seems to have other plans. She would like me to:

1. Paint the bedroom (what's wrong with 13 year old paint??)

2. Build a garden around the east and north side of our house.

3. Put new flooring in a bathroom, strip the old wallpaper off, and paint.

In other news, my son has landed a job with the Arkansas Democrat Gazette. Sometime this week I will have to rent a U-Haul trailer and bring him his stuff. That should be a busy day, with it being a 5 hour drive one way, and if I know my son his apartment will be messy within 5 minutes of him moving in.

In addition, I've been bidding on hot tubs on EBay. I'm thinking a nice covered deck around it and a sign that says "NO KIDS ALLOWED"

He Are A Graduate

My blogging has been light lately. Last week I spent 3 days in Austin, Tx attending my son's graduation and helping him move some of his stuff back.

I've written before about the disgusting state of his apartment and I wish I could say he was shamed into being less of a slob, but as you can see from the picture he hasn't.

Maybe he'll grow out of it.

Just A Scary Thought to Start Your Week

Ten years ago, the parents of the kids we teach today, were going crazy for the Macarena.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

If You're Not Disgusted You're Not Paying Attention

From the files of "I only thought I'd seen everything" comes this almost unbelievable story via CNN about a mother who was offering her 7 year old daughter up for sex, actually advertising it on the Internet. Fortunately for the child the buyer was an undercover police officer, although the police suspect she may have been victimized before. Not only was the mother selling her own child, she had planned on taking pictures of the molesting and sell then on the Internet. Unbelievable!

Somewhere in Michigan is a 3rd grade teacher who will be held accountable for this child when she doesn't pass her high stakes test mandated by the federal government. Several years ago we had a 4th grader who witnessed the murder/suicide of his parents, but by golly he still had to take the state tests.

I'm disgusted on many levels.

Raid Covered Cookies

Let's see if I can stump Michael with this one.

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't be tempted to dig them out of the garbage and eat them. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn't taste that bad.

And I'm outtttttttaaaaa here!

My Lunch

Like most of my fellow "Special Populations" teachers, I now eat my lunch in my room. It's a decision I had been contemplating for awhile, as I've previously mentioned here I was getting tired of listening to the various teacher cliques discuss their party/dinner/get-together plans. The final straw for me was when a teacher, whom I considered a friend, screamed at me during lunch over a comment I had made regarding her MySpace page. Now, I'll be the first to admit I have the habit of sticking my foot in my mouth, but in this case I'm certain she misunderstood what I was trying to say. One of her good friends asked me about it and I explained what I meant, and she informed me that, yes, the other teacher had misunderstood what I was saying.

Since this incident, about 4 weeks ago, I have taken to eating lunch in my room. I have rediscovered the joy of reading at lunchtime and yesterday I just finished reading Stephen King's Bag of Bones. I HIGHLY recommend it. All I can say is, if I had a house with a basement or cellar I would now be afraid to go down in it.

I Owe, I Owe . . .And Monday's Quote

Well its back to work for me. Kudos to Michael, who has been getting every quote right. Is he reading the same book as me?

The thing that impresses me most about American is the way parents obey their children.

Its off to work I go.

Now Back to Work

I've had a good Spring Break. I worked on a swing for my back porch, visited relatives in Louisiana, ate far too much, and in a fit of insanity, my buddy and I laid down 3200 pounds of cement to expand the cement base under my porch out back.

My wife, who until recently was totally uninterested, is now planning where the various relaxation devices will go. So far we will be putting a swing, 2 hammock chairs (get them on Ebay, trust me), 2 rocking chairs and an occasional 2 person hammock. Yesterday I borrowed my neighbors fire pit to burn the 40 empty cement bags and it turned into a good time. We all sat around the fire, and occasionally someone would run and find something else to throw into it to burn and to refill our drinks. My wife and I were born city dwellers, so we never experienced the joy of an open fire on a cool spring night. My friend's mother in law has promised to find us one cheap at a garage sale.

A good end to a good Spring Break.

The Book List

So many of the bloggers have done this I decided it was time I gave it a try. The books in bold print are the ones I've read.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) –started to read it but HATED it and never finished.
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) – don’t forget your towel.
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie(Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller) “How can he see he’s got sties in his eyes when he has sties in his eyes?”
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving) – who wouldn’t want a disaster proof house?
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth(Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce
101. Jurassic Park
102. Learn Me Good

Help! Help! I'm Being Repressed!

I was shocked to discover this evening that my blog, Education in Texas, is banned in China! Once again the voice of freedom and truth is being repressed. If you would like to see if your voice is also being stifled you can click here. A tip of the hat to NYC Educator for the link to the test.

Your Monday Morning Mad Quote

Kudos to Michael, who correctly identified George Carlin as the speaker for last week's quote. And now for this week's:

The Senate is investigating profiteering on oil and gas. The important questions are: 1)Which oil companies are raking in huge profits? and 2)HOw big of contributors are they?

Speaking of oil company profits, gas prices have skyrocketed once again just in time for Spring Break. Last year the oil companies missed out on some major profits by waiting a couple of weeks too long to jack up the prices, so this year they've done it a little earlier. Last year's concerns driving the price up? North Korea, Iran and increased demand for gasoline. This year's? North Korea, Iran and increased demand for gasoline.

How's This For Caring?

I found an interesting website by a following a link posted at The 108th Edition of the Carnival of Education, hosted by Dr. Homslice.

As many of you no doubt know, New Orleans Public Schools were decimated by Hurricane Katrina and the federal govt. has swooped in to push charter schools upon the city's children. By following the links provided I was able to find the website for an organization called Teach NOLA. The website offers two links for potential teachers, one for certified and one for uncertified. Certified teachers are directed to a page that contains this greeting:

teachNOLA seeks the nation's most outstanding certified teachers to make a difference by teaching in New Orleans charter schools.

Uncertified teachers' link leads them to a page that says this:

teachNOLA seeks the nation's most outstanding young, mid- and post-career professionals to make a difference by teaching in New Orleans' Recovery School District.

In short, the charter schools are being given the best of the best, while the public schools, referred to as Recovery School District, have to fight over what's left.

Sounds like the perfect plan for the reform crowd to "prove" charter schools are better.

Don't the children of New Orleans deserve better?

A new Monday Quote

Congrats to Michael, who correctly answered that H. L. Mencken made last Monday's quote.

Now for this week's quote. Who was it that said:

In the United States anybody can become president. That's the problem.

Well time for me to start my Monday denial chant. It is NOT Monday, It is NOT Monday, It is NOT Monday . . .

And the Answer is, Plus a New Quote

Anonymous guessed correctly that Thomas Jefferson made last week's quote. Interesting that Charles Beard though quoting the founding fathers would make you be considered a radical. I wish I had the date for that quote from Beard, it would really be interesting to see if it was made in the last few years.

And now for this week's quote:

For every problem there is a solution that is clear, simple and wrong"

I've gone a little more obscure on this one to make it more interesting.

Ugh, another Tuesday

I hope this Tuesday is better than the last one. After my last post Mr. Teacher complained that no beautiful co-workers notice when he's out. I still contend that it is worse when a beautiful co-worker thinks you were gone when you were there all day.

Here's a laugh to (hopefully) start your Tuesday wright:

Monday's Mad Quote

Feeling a little rebellious? Then this quote is just for you:

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in the government

And here's another quote to help you figure out who the dangerous rebel was that made the previous quote:

One of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our fathers used in the great struggle for independence . . .Charles A. Beard

We're #1!

Here in Texas, the birthplace of NCLB type "reforms" we've obtained considerable status in regards to other states. For example Texas is:

- 1st in the percentage of uninsured children
- 1st in food insecurity
- 1st in child abuse deaths
- 1st in the number of incarcerated adults
- 2nd in the percentage of the population that goes hungry
- 2nd in teen pregnancy
- 5th in the overall poverty rate
- 6th in crime
- 47th in income and food stamps benefits for the neediest
- 50th in the percentage of fully-immunized two-year-olds

In his never ending quest to make his friends rich and look like he cares about Texas children remedy these deplorable numbers, Gov. Goodhair Perry has proposed cutting state services even further to pay for property tax reductions. Texas schools will receive zero new dollars over the next two years, meaning that once again Texas will be the only state in the union to cut per student funding.

Yahoo!

The complete report can be read at Tom Paine.

I Should've Called in Dead

I should've just stayed home Tuesday, it was one of those days, but instead I chose to ignore two very important warning signs.

1. My iron caught fire when I was doing my clothes.

2. When I did get to work a beautiful co-worker asked me why I'd been out the day before . . .I'd been there the whole day.

Is there any wonder why I hate Tuesdays?

Monday's Mad Quote

Here is the first of what I'm going to call Monday's Mad Quotes:

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them all and took their land

Any guesses?

Now remember, it is NOT Monday, it is NOT Monday, it is NOT Monday . . .

And The Answer Is. . .Oh, And Don't Forget the Carnival is Now Open

Kudos to Scott S. Floyd, who correctly identified Voltaire as the person who said, "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

I really enjoy finding and posting quotes and I'm thinking of making it a regular post, like Ms. Cornelius does over at A Shrewdness of Apes every Monday.

In other news, the 104th Edition of the Carnival of Education is now up and running over at The Median Sib.

And The Answer Is, Plus a New Quote

Kudos to Michael, who correctly identified Herman Goerring as the person who made the quote. Yes, that Herman Goerring, the Hitler crony and Luftwaffe chief during World War II.

Now for a new one. Who said:

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.

Amazing how these quotes from the past fit the present so precisely.

An Interesting Quote

I came across this quote in an Uncle John's Reader, published by Bathroom Reader's Institute and thought it was very interesting.

In a democracy the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars."

"Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.

Anyone care to guess who said this?

Geaux Saints!

And Now a List of No-No Words

Lake Superior State University has released its annual list of List of Words and Phrases Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness.

Some of my favorites include:

- Combined celebrity names (TomKate, Brangelina)

- i-ANYTHING

— We’re pregnant (see my previous posts about baby showers for a good idea of how I feel about this)

— Armed robbery gone bad or drug deal gone bad (are there that many armed robberies gone good?)

— Ask your doctor

— Boasts (used as a verb, i.e. the home boasts a spacious fireplace)

If you have a word or phrase that you find really annoying, you can submit it for consideration in next year's list here.

I would like to see large defense companies banned from advertising on TV. Not that I have anything against Lockheed-Martin, but why would they spend money to tell me about the great new fighter they're building for the military? Do they think I'm going to decide what I really need in my driveway is a $40 fighter and rush out and buy one??

Nothing Says Immaturity Like . . .

your very own potato cannon.








Happy New Year Everyone!

The Festivus Airing of Grievances

A tip of the hat to Ms. Cornelius over at A Shrewdness of Apes for the link to the Festivus Airing of Grievances page.

Here's my personal Festivus grievance:

People who drive in the left hand lane below the speed limit, even though they have clearly never passed anyone in their lives and never will. Do you think those "Slower Traffic Keeps Right" signs are there just to give you something to read?

I'm pushing for a constitutional amendment to allow you to bump them out of your way.

Feel free to add your own.

In Which I Discover I Need A Walker

No, not that kind of walker, at least not yet. The kind of walker I'm referring to is like the one in the picture to the left. Moody Gardens had these "walkers" to help people who were having difficulty ice skating. Unfortunately, I couldn't get any of the kids using them to let me have one. I did manage to skate a few times around the rink without falling down and breaking anything, so I consider myself as having come out ahead.

Merry Christmas to All!

Moody Gardens Here We Come

Last month I won 4 tickets for all the attractions at Moody Gardens in Galveston from a local radio station. The contest was one where you had to identify the title and the artist, and they usually make it very easy by playing a clip that has the title in it. The title, Electric Avenue, was very easy but no one seemed to know it was by Eddie Grant.

I haven't been to Moody Gardens in years, but their website boasts of a Festival of Lights, an Aquarium Pyramid and an ice skating rink (just the thing for a 43 year old with a sedentary lifestyle and bad knees).

Hopefully I won't bang my head on the ice.

Spinning Class . . .Am I Missing Something?

The local healthl club has converted one of its racquetball courts into a facility for "spinning" class. This particular club is the only one in town that has racquetball courts and the courts are often quite busy, so I'm at a loss as to why they would give up 25% of their courts.

I watched a class the other day, with all of two people in it, and determined you need the following items:

1. stationary bikes
2. a really loud sound system
3. some really crappy music
4. a "Bike Nazi" to yell at the class members.

If you've ever seen the movie Fever Pitch and you remember the scene were Drew Barrymore is in exercise class on stationary bikes while she talks about the new guy she met, then you have seen a spinning class in action.

Am I missing something here?

I Think I'm Gonna Hurl . . . Spew, Ralph, Upchuck, Praise The Porcelain God

Well the fall semester is over and what a whirlwind week it was, filled with field trips, parties, fun activities and mostly sweet things to eat. I would estimate in the last week I've consumed my body weight in sugar laden foods, leaving me to feel like it will all be coming up soon.

Please feel free to add your own euphemism for vomiting.

Just a chuckle for those in need of one

The Queen Blogger of All Public Education Bashers is Promoting Reduced Class Sizes

I couldn't believe it, but Joanne Jacobs is actually using the Tennesee STAR Study results as a proof early education and class sizes are good for student achievement.

I couldn't believe it when I read:

Small classes in the early grades provided a lasting benefit to students, especially low-income black students, in the Tennessee STAR study.

Maybe us teachers, who have been saying reduce class sizes for years, really do know what we're talking about.

Things Are Getting Bad Out There

The Burger King Corporation has come up with a new promotion for its unusual "King" commercial character, video games where the King plays the main character and apparently injures himself frequently in his quest to serve Whoppers to other characters. The games are available for $3.99 with the purchase of a meal

In short, Burger King has come up with a new way to market its high fat, high calorie food to children and is getting parents to directly cover the costs. The kicker is hundreds of thousands of parents will oblige them by buying the games. Schools will continue to be blamed for the obesity epidemic among America's children.

I would ask, are parents really that stupid, but I'm afraid I already know the answer.

Oreo Balls, They Taste Great and They Sound a Little Naughty

I had to attend another baby shower today, the 3rd so far this year (with 4 more to go), but this time I really didn't mind because one of our special ed. teachers had made her infamous Oreo Balls. They are so good that I'd be willing to bet the folks who wrote the Lays Potato Chip commercial (Bet you can't eat just one) had traveled forward in time and sampled them. She was also kind enough to share her recipe, which follows:

3 bags of Oreos (2 reg. & 1 double stuffed)
4 boxes of cream cheese
Chocolate almond bark (for dipping)
Vanilla almond bark (for drizzling)

Crush the Oreos in a Ziploc bag and pour into a large bowl. Mix the cream cheese in with the crushed Oreos. The mixture will still have a crumbly texture. Put the mixture in the refrigerator and let it set overnight. Take the mixture out and form into balls. Dip the balls into the melted chocolate almond bark and place on wax paper. After the chocolate hardens, drizzle the melted vanilla almond bark over the Oreo balls. Store the Oreo balls in the refrigerator.

Go ahead, try it. You WON'T be able to eat just one.

Another Katrina T-shirt

This one is for NYC Educator, who liked the levee shirt but didn't think it was funny.

If this one doesn't make you laugh big guy I'll have to get out the dirty ones.

A Funny Shirt Being Sold in New Orleans

I spent 4 days in the New Orleans area last week. This is one of the funnier (and clean) t-shirts being sold, just in case you need a laugh.

Bush Family Ethics at Work

From Jim Hightower comes this story of how clueless Neil Bush is benefitting from legislation championed by his brother W. According to the story:

As honcho of an outfit called Ignite! Learning, he goes around to school districts hustling a computerized learning center dubbed COW, for Curriculum On Wheels. Made up to look like a purple cow, it's wheeled into classrooms where it uses jingles and cartoon videos to "teach" students. Each COW costs $3,800 and at least 13 school districts have used No Child Left Behind money to purchase them. That money is primarily intended to help disadvantaged kids learn reading and math – yet, Neil's COWs don't teach either of these subjects. Curious.

My favorite part of the story:

Ignite's ethics are also on display in a company video on its website. A Texas teacher named Lori gives a glowing testimonial about how COW did wonders for a young student named India. Only, Lori is really not India's teacher. She's Ignite's marketing director. Ignite says Lori was not lying... just role playing.

Hightower doesn't mention a few other ethically challenged players in the education "reform" movement including Junk Bond King and convicted felon Micahel Milken, the moneybags for K12 Inc. Or William "The Book of Virtues" Bennett, whose book shares stories of how we all should all be living our lives while he is racking up huge gambling losses.

On a side note:

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Ahhh, vacation

Yesterday was a great day, nice weather, last Friday before a week off, a payday AND cinnamon rolls in the cafeteria for breakfast. It doesn't get any better than that.

Well, there was that fact that I forgot to finish my lesson plans. And I think I left some rechargeable batteries plugged in to the recharger. But other than that it was a pretty good day.

Now I'm off to spend the obligatory 3 days visiting relatives in Louisiana.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

A Dirty Little Cartoon

This comic is so delightfully dirty I had to post it. Of course, if you were never once an immature 14 year old male, or don't currently have the maturity of a 14 year old male, you may not get it or find it that dirty.

Enjoy!

The Texas Parent PAC scores big in the election

Via TexasISD.com comes this press release from the Texas Parent Pac, a public education advocacy group who has been extremely successful in electing pro education candidates to the Texas Congress.

According to the group:

Children, parents, and neighborhood public schools were big winners in the Texas House of Representatives elections Tuesday, as many new legislators were elected who are committed to strengthening public education. This was partly due to the efforts of Texas Parent PAC, a statewide political committee formed in July 2005 with the goal of electing more state legislators who would stand up for children and high quality public education.

All of the candidates supported by the Texas Parent PAC were successful, many defeating pro voucher candidates whoring for San Antonio millionaire Dr. James Leinenger.

One mistake in their press release, Donna Howard is a Republican, not a Democrat. She defeated Republican lapdog and public school basher Kent Grusendorf in the Republican primaries earlier in the year.

Good News and Bad News

Today has been a mixed blessing, both good news and bad news.

Good News After a week of fruitless searching I have found my rechargeable flashlight. It was in the attic exactly where I left it.

Bad News I found 3 electrical wires that run to an area of the garage where there are no electrical outlets or devices. It is driving me crazy wondering what they go to.

As soon as my flashlight is recharged I'm finding out.

Go Bush Go!!!

Not THAT Bush, or the title would have said, "Go Bush Go! And Stay There!"

I'm talking about Reggie Bush and the fact the NFL is returning to my hometown of New Orleans for some Monday Night Football.

There will be massive amounts of media coverage, probably including many parts of the city still devastated and yet to be rebuilt, if they ever are. My old neighborhood is showing signs of life, the bar on the corner has reopened although Benny's (a.k.a. The Butcher) Barbershop on the opposite corner hasn't. I once had to take shelter in that bar, as Benny was attempting to settle a domestic dispute with his wife by waving a pistol around and firing it into the air. At the time, it was a hangout for a much older crowd. If you've ever seen the scene from Animal House where they go into the bar to see Otis Day and the Knights, and all music and talking stops and everyone stares at them then you know what it was like when I stepped into the senior citizen's bar. However, they were kind enough to assure me that Benny often fired his pistol into the air during arguements with his wife and invited me to have a beer. But I digress. The home I grew up in has been remodeled from a double to single home and is for sale. I believe the asking price is $170,000 which rules out me buying it for sentimental reasons.

My last time in the Superdome was about two years ago. My nephew-in-law and myself bought two sideline tickets off a street scalper entrepeneur and watched a truly awful Saints game. The Bronos marched up and down on the Saints at will. How bad was it? The fans cheered when a Broncos back was held to only 6 yards on a carry! It was so bad the Saints cuckoo owner, Tom Benson, said afterwards they played like a bunch of high schoolers. It was so bad a diehard Saints fan intentionally started a fight with a Broncos fan so he could get thrown out and not have to watch the rest of the game. He did miss a really good booing and cursing session when time expired.

So hopefully New Orleans will be ready for some football. Hopefully the Saints revamped defense will put some major pressure on Michael Vick. I'll be in front of the TV in my Deuce McAllistar jersey.

Run Reggie run!

Another Late Friday Afternoon Report That Makes the Bushies Look Bad

In another late Friday afternoon release, a recent audit of Bush's reading panel has turned up significant evidence of ignored laws and violations of ethical standards.

According to this CNN story,

. . .the Reading First program has been beset by conflicts of interest and willful mismanagement. It suggests the department broke the law by trying to dictate which curriculum schools must use.

Other juicy tidbits include:

It also depicts a program in which review panels were stacked with people who shared the director's views, and in which only favored publishers of reading curricula could get money.

One Bush official, Chris Doherty, program director for Reading First, was found to have said of he didn't approve of:

They are trying to crash our party and we need to beat the (expletive deleted) out of them in front of all the other would-be party crashers who are standing on the front lawn waiting to see how we welcome these dirtbags

A typical, unqualified slimeball Bush appointee who doens't give a damn about children and who has never taught a day in his life. The "party" he is referring to is paid for by the taxpayers at the expense of children's educations.

Other findings from found the Ed. Dept.:

- Botched the way it picked a panel to review grant applications, raising questions over whether grants were approved as the law requires (Botched? No. Deliberately loaded up the panel giving out the grants? Yes.)

- Screened grant reviewers for conflicts of interest, but then failed to identify six who had a clear conflict based on their industry connections. (I wonder if those 6 had connections to McGraw-Hill?)

- Did not let states see the comments of experts who reviewed their applications (Why should they? They've been ignoring the comments of professional educators for years)

- Required states to meet conditions that weren't part of the law (why let a little thing like the LAW get in your way when your friends need to make some money?)

- It says he (Doherty) repeatedly used his influence to steer money toward states that used a reading approach he favored, called Direct Instruction, or DI (Wonder what kind of deals were made to make sure DI received that money?)

Spellings, of course, knows nothing about it all. I predict very shortly there will be editorials from Jay Mathews claiming the investigation is riddled with inaccuracies. Look for it by the end of the week.

One for the techies

I found this in Lateshow archives, from this summer. It gave me a laugh, so for all you computer geeks out there:

Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Computer


10. Runs on 200 "D" batteries

9. In the morning you have to defrost it

8. Runs on Windows '78

7. Box reads "Pre-loaded with hundreds of viruses!"

6. Tech support number is a Silicon Valley Applebee's

5. For better internet reception, salesman includes pair of rabbit ears

4. You move the pointer around by licking the screen

3. It's made by IBN

2. The mouse bit you

1. When you tell it to print, it tells you to go screw yourself

My wife often complains that we don't have a "real computer" and that I should stop buying cheap stuff. She doesn't buy my arguement that all the parts are basically the same AND I built it myself. Somehow everytime she touches it it messes up.

Must be an I-D-10-T problem.

Rediscovering an old joy

While cleaning out my storage unit I came across my old collection of Calvin and Hobbes books and I rediscovered the joy of reading them. My daughter has also become a big fan.

If you liked Calvin and Hobbes then you will probably also enjoy Zits. I'm convinced that Bill Waterson, the creator of Calvin and Hobbes, must be one of the people producing Zits, or they were extremely heavily influenced by him.

Homer Simpson's Life Lessons

Found this list of Homer Simpson's life lessons and thought I'd pass my favorites along.

"Kids are like monkeys, only louder."

"When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word. "

"You can have many different jobs and still be lazy."

"You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions."

"There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten. "

"The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks. "

"There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them -- starting with 8. I've always hated 8. "

"When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness."

"My favorite color is chocolate."

I can't believe they left out, "Donuts, is there anything they can't do"

If you're really bored you can read life lessons from Pamela Anderson, Ozzy Osbourne, Tom Petty andHeather Locklear.

Talk Nerdy to Me, Baby

I've been giddy with excitement all week. Its been months since I've stuck my hand inside my computer to upgrade some piece of equipment but that long drought has officially come to an end. Last weekend I ordered this video card from Tiger Direct. At the time I ordered it there was a $15 mail in rebate, so my total price was only $35.

What did I get for my money? I upgraded from a 4X AGP 64MB card to an 8X 256MB card. I had been having some difficulties with my computer freezing up, and when I pulled the old card out it practically fell apart in my hand. My next purchase will be for more memory. While checking out the specs on my motherboard I happened to notice it could handle up to a gig of DDR 400MHZ. I'm currently running 512MB of 266 mhz DDR RAM.

If I only had a serious game to play to test out the new capabilities. The most intensive game I have is Combat Flight Sim 3, which is a buggy piece of garbage.

Hmmm, I wonder if TigerDirect sells software?

Dude!

The other night I watched a show on the Discovery Channel called the Stunt Junkies. An episode the other night featured someone trying to skate down a huge ramp, then jump onto a 30 ft. rail and "grind" himself over the edge of a cliff and into the Grand Canyon, where he would parachute to safety. Now I'm a big fan of The Darwin Awards and I'm all for stupid people removing themselves from the gene pool, but what irks me about this show is these people are promoted as "part scientist, part stuntman".

On the show I watched the big concern was that as the skateboarder transitioned from the ramp to the rail he might fall and not clear the rocky cliff on his way down, which is exactly what happened. Fortunately for him, he landed on his back on the rail and slid far enough down it to clear the rocks safely. Upon landing at the bottom of the cliff he had this conversation with the show's host:

Host: Dude!
Stunt Junkie: Dude!
Host: Dude!!
Stunt Junkie: Dude!!
Host: DUDE!
Stunt Junkie: DUDE!

Most of you are probably not aware that the word dude can be used to convey many different emotions, so for those of you who are not immature males here is a translation of the conversation above:

Host: Dude!! (That was quite spectacular, unfortunately I lack the vocabulary to express my feelings of excitement, even though I'm the host of a TV show)
Stunt Junkie: Dude! (That is quite alright my friend, as I am not capable of comprehending most polysyllabic words)
Host: Dude! (You must be relieved that your incredible good luck more than compensated for your lack of adequate planning, safety measures and overall good sense)
Stunt Junkie: Dude! (Yes, I am happy I did not bash my skull against the rocks)
Host: DUDE! (Will you be performing any future stunts that will result in a serious decline in your life expectancy?)
Stunt Junkie: DUDE! (Undoubtedly I'll be experiencing many future blows to my head that will result in a plethora of bad ideas on my part)

The hero of this episode took a helicopter ride back to the top of the cliff where he was greeted by the stunt coordinator who said, and I quote, "Dude"

Ever wonder why so many kids have such poor vocabularies?

Glurch, fun to make and fun to say

As classes make their first visits of the school year to my lab I try to give the kids something really exciting to work on to get them interested in Science. Last year I used Oobleck, which I couldn't use again due to the fact my 3rd graders had already seen it, so this year I went with something similar called glurch.

I had originally used this recipe, which called for either a mix of 50% water and 50% white glue OR water and boric acid, but I have found a combination of both works really well.

I let the kids mix the water and glue mix together, give them a discussion about the properties of matter and then have them mix the boric acid, which can be found in the laundry detergent aisle under the name "20 Mule Team Borax". You should have kids wear safety gear while creating the mix, as borax is an eye irritant. The mixture, when just right, will bounce like a superball and take permanent marker off of objects.

My 14th First Day

My 14th first day has come and gone and I have to admit it was a pleasant one.

Our school was absolutely immaculate, with floors polished till you could have eaten off of them. I didn't see even one student crying, which was a first for me. On the first day of school us teachers who don't have regular classrooms, called "the special pops" teachers, do foyer duty helping kids and parents find rooms and room assignments. We usually have a long line of parents who waited till the last minute to register their kids for school, but even that was absent this year.

I didn't have any Science lab classes, they will start tomorrow, and the 3 classes that came to computer lab were very well behaved.

The IT technician came by and made sure all the computers were working properly for the Read 180 teacher, and the even the head of the technology dept. stopped in and asked if all our computers were working.

My principal said everything went so well she was worried we'd have a really bad day to even things out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

All in all, we couldn't have asked for a better first day.

Texas Accountability Ratings Are Out

You can begin your search for your Texas school rating here.

My school received a rating of "Recognized", which is the 2nd highest rating. For more information about how schools are rated you can read the 2006 Accountability Manual.

Light Blogging for Awhile

Sumer vacation! Then its back to work on August 7th

I want one of these!

I'm going to have to put this on my Xmas list. The website that sells it is actually called I Want One of Those

I wonder if you can replace the foam missles with something else? Perhaps something that will cause more damage?

The 76th Edition of the Carnival of Education

The Carnival of Education returns to Texas where its hot, hot, hot! It's soooo hot . . . well, I won't get started on that again. Here are this week's entries.

How big is the anti-public school alliance? Even Sandra Day O'Conner is dissing us.

Do you feel pretty? Well, Misterteacher does and he tells us about it, along with a whole list of other things, including the fact he can communicate with Grapenuts. Dude, that MIGHT be the kind of thing you don't want to go around telling people about. If you like his website and his sense of humor you will LOVE his book, Learn Me Good

Virginia Tech is home to nearly 500 students from India, and The Ronaoke Times Campus Watch has collected reactions to the terrible bombing in Mubai.

The parents among us know about sitting through long productions to see your kids perform, only to have the experience ruined by some thoughtless clod with ill-mannered kids. Mamacita at Scheiss Weekly weighs in on this issue.

Last week's carnival host School Me reports on a language school hosting students from several warring countries and asks Can Jews and Muslims get beyond gibberish?

Being born without legs would seriously hamper most of us, but Bobby Martin not only has overcome this obstacle but actually plays high school football! Get on the Bus has the inspiring story here.

Education Matters looks at the issue of Teacher Quality and questions why the Dept. of Education isn't enforcing the law on highly qualified teachers and why are the states skirting it?

Some teachers are absolute experts at integrating technology into their teaching and La Maestra is obviously one of them. La Maestra, one of several regulars who contributes to Livewire examines the question "Is the global technology revolution good or bad for American students?"

La Maestra has also written a handy guide to education jargon. Be sure to check out the definitions of Adequate Yearly Progress, Best Practices, Data-Driven, Research-Driven and Zone of Proximal Development.

Another website with multiple contributors is This week in Education. Authors Alexander Russo and Margaret Paynich have each contributed to this week's carnival. Alexander Russo has compiled a handy list of who, what and where of education writers and Margaret Paynich examines the boys vs girls issue from a unique perspective, the Edusphere

Margaret Paynich scores a two-fer this week, with her submission mentioned above AND this submission on student cellphone use in the classroom.

Is teacher isolation a pervasive force that prevents improvement of our schools? "The Rain" examines the issue as seen by the experts and relates some personal experiences.

There's been a lot written lately on the issue of girls vs boys and academic achievement and now some are beginning to look at ADHD in girls and record how it manifests itself differently in girls, courtesy of The BlogMeister, The Bloginator, The Blog-a-tello over at the copy machine Treat Me Online.

Awards and end of year evaluations are on Janet's mind over at The Art of Getting By. I really like her website and her humor but how can she think Napoleon Dynamite was a bad movie?? Perhaps her lips hurt really bad?




Right Wing Nation has some handy tips for writing good multiple choice tests. I wish the writers of the Texas TAKS tests would take one of his hints, Avoid all negative questions ("Which of the following is not an example of X?").

Everything you ever wanted to know about Arrian a.k.a. Flavius "Flavor Flav" Arrianus can be found over at Trivium Pursuit, the blog of a homeschooling family. I learned that Arrian wrote extensively about Alexander the Great and is considered his prime historian. I did not know that! Excellent!


Are you politically connected? Have no idea how to run a school or any education experience but want to take a swing at it? Want to earn a little dough on the side? Looking to save a few bucks on building construction and maintenance? NYC Educator describes how the conditions mentioned above came together to find a nice home, much better than the public schools get, for a new charter school.

Ever wonder what parents were thinking when they allowed their child to buy and wear a certain shirt or pants? Do you find it disturbing that young girls are walking around with the word "juicy" prominently displayed across their bottoms? Kauai Mark is and he writes about inappropriate children's clothing when companies place slogans at inappropriate places on children. I won't spoil the surprise on which company it is but I WILL confess to having eaten Blizzards with their product mixed in. For those of you not from Texas, a Blizzard is ice cream mixed with some other product served at a fast food restaurant chain called Dairy Queen.

A website new to me is Supreme Narcissism. Their submission to the carnival is called Miseducation: A Criticism of High School and Higher Education. I like the subtitle for this site, "Endless bitching about politics, media, and personal entrepreneurship..."

Despite what Chester Finn says, teachers are seldom to blame for the problems school districts have. Over at A Shrewdness of Apes Ms. Cornelius writes about the St. Louis Superintendent fired after just one year on the job. Be sure to visit her blog on Monday mornings, where she post lines from favorite movies and readers try to guess the movie and chime in with their own favorite lines. I don't want to ruin this week's contest for anyone who hasn't figure it out yet, but just remember, as you travel the information superhighway, the Force will be with you always.

Going to the Mat takes a look at a plan being floated about that would provide more equitable funding for schools but that would require teachers to submit to a merit pay plan. Whatever the pros and cons of this plan are I can't help feeling that anything the Fordham Foundation is involved in can't be good for public schools.

Pass-Ed wonders if textbooks for high schoolers are really necessary. As he points out Purchasing textbooks for large groups of students can cost tens of thousands of dollars.

Harry Potter and the No Child Left Behind Law. No, its not the title of the next book in the seris but The Hun Blog has the facts on how the two are related. He also accuses me of surreptitiously chiding him for being immature in his use of Monty Python snippets to organize his Carnival of Education. The truth is, Professor, I was jealous because I didn't think of it first! As you can see from this post, you have taught me well, Master!

Think money doesn't matter? Well then you haven't read this post from the good folks at Texas Ed, who catch Texas Secretary of Education Dr. Shirley Neeley , unintentionally admitting that money, GASP! does make a difference.

I had planned to add my post about the private vs public study released by the DOE late on a Friday afternoon, but someone else has done a much better job of writing it up. That someone else is John over at the NCLBlog.

Take a stroll down memory lane and re-discover those favorite Science books from your childhood. I don't remember "Between Play and Physics" in my childhood library but then again, I didn't grow up in Yugoslavia.

California Teacher Dude er, Guy is on a Science kick also. In his submission he discusses how forging connections with critters can help a child develop a sense of self worth.

The Education Wonks, living the high life in South Carolina, examines the disappearing middle school and wonders if having 8th graders and 1st graders on the same campus is a good idea. If the type of school he discusses becomes prevalent we could have students in Pre-K, 4 years old, mixed in with those 8th graders.

3σ Left, (remember, its a math term) discusses a faux paux another teacher made when teaching standard deviations to a class where the total number of fingers didn't add up to a number divisible by ten.

Would you let your kids attend a virtual school? David at The Good Human discusses why he and his wife want more for their children than sitting in front of a computer screen all day.

The internet has been a great source of ideas for both teachers and homeschooling parents alike, so why not borrow these nifty ideas from Creative Homeschooling? The author was kind enough to include a materials list for each project.

Another homeschooling parent, Spittibee, shares some handy tips for unit planning in a post she calls Konos Planning for Dummies

For a neat Math trick visit Mr. Person over at Text Savvy and learn about The Magic Gopher, a neat internet based Math trick. Mr. Person is a fellow Texan so I won't be sending him a nasty email about the #@& Math trick I can't figure out.

And finally I submit my own whining observations about the heat wave currently evaporating Texas.

Next week's carnival is being hosted by fellow Texan Mr. Person of Text Savvy. Submissions should be sent to mr(dot)obelus(at)gmail.com no later than 10 P.M> CST on Tuesday night.

Man it's HOT!

I know the whole country is in a heat wave but these last few days have been the worst I can ever remember. Here in Texas they give both the temperature and the "heat index". The heat index is a combination of the heat and humidity that yields what is called a "feels like" temperature. Here in Texas the heat index will be 111 degree this afternoon.

How hot is that?

Its so hot the local college is thinking of changing it's team names to the Humidity.

Its so hot cows have been giving powdered milk and hens have been laying hard boiled eggs.

Its so hot we go to McDonalds and pour hot coffee in our laps, to cool off.

Its so hot we argue over who gets to sit in the other person's shadow.

Its so hot my daughter got her tongue sunburned by talking too much outside.

Its so hot a Speedo is now considered formal attire.

Sorry, the heat got to me for a minute.

But here's some weather sites for kids that may come in handy when school starts up again:

Weather Whiz Kids

KidStorm

Scholastic Kids WeatherMaker

Web Weather For Kids

Miami Museum of Science - Make a Weather Station Project

Dan Wild's Weather Page

The Weather Dude

The Big Page of Weather Experiments

Its sooo hot the temperature on my house thermostat says "Damn" . .

Carnival entries are due . . .and the dumbest thing a "reformer" has ever said to me

Yours truly is hosting the 76th edition of the Carnival of Education. Please submit all entries to mikea3_98@yahoo.com by Tuesday, 9 P.M. central.

And now for the dumbest thing a "reformer" has ever said to me.

He wouldn't shut down a public school that killed kids and served their flesh in the cafeteria.

I've been called many things by some of the anti-public school crowd over at Joanne Jacobs but this is my favorite. It is actually the 2nd time this person has made this claim.

I wish I knew where he lived and worked. I would LOVE to burst into his place of employment and scream "It's people! Soylent Green is people!"

I've also been called a flaming liberal which I find funny too. My son, who really is a flaming liberals, thinks I'm a step below Nazi b/c whenever there's a chase on Cops I sit there screaming, "Shoot 'em, shoot 'em"

Hmm, just exactly how would you serve kids' flesh? I like kids breaded and fried. Maybe some of you guys could share your favorite kid recipes.

The truth comes out

Kudos to the folks over at the AFT blogNCLBlog for predicting exactly how the DOE was going to release its charter vs public school comparison data, late on a slow newsday without any comments.


The New York Times is reporting:

4th graders attending public school were nearly half a year ahead of comparable students in private school, according to the report.

I've searched some of the big news websites, CNN, Fox News, Reuters and MSNBC and not one has peep about the story, continuing their practice of kissing Bush ass.

Since it won't be said anywhere else, kudos to you my education colleagues. I always KNEW we were better than the corporate hacks the "reformers" have been championing.

More Summer Reading

My daughter and I visited the local library and I added some more books to my summer reading list.

In the young adults section I found Red Sky at Morning by Richard Bradford. I had read this book in high school, enjoyed it, so I decided to read it again. I could not put it down. By early afternoon I had read the entire book.

I also got the new Stephen Coonts book, The Traitor. Coonts, a former naval aviator is best known for The Flight of the Intruder which was made into a movie. For my money his best book is a non-fiction piece called The Cannibal Queen. The book describes a summer spent flying a 1930s era biplane around the continental US.

I also received in the mail two new Ron Luciano books, The Umpire Strikes Back and The Decline and Fall of the Roman Umpire. Luciano is hilarious (and a former teacher) who tragically took his own life some years after his books were published. I also noticed one of his former colleagues, Ken Kaiser, has a book out called Planet of the Umps. In addition to being a major league umpire Kaiser also worked as a professional wrestler. The book is co-authored with Luciano's co-author, David Fisher.

I'm STILL waiting to hear about my grant proposal. I've accepted the fact that even if I were to get approved tomorrow we would not be able to receive our new computers in time for the start of the new school year on August 14.

My (almost) teenaged daughter

My daughter is at an awkward stage in her upbringing. She is too old to go to "summer camp" at one of the local daycares and too young to be left home alone for anything more than short errands. Therefore, her and I have spent a great deal of time together this summer and she seems to have developed some errant beliefs about her Dad:

Errant Belief #1 - My father has an unlimited supply of money. I get paid once a month, typically on the 25th. However, if the 25th is on a weekend we are paid the Friday before unless it is summer when our administration staff is on a 4 day work week. Last month the 25th fell on a Sunday, so we were actually paid on the 22nd. While it was nice, it now means I have to go 33 days without being paid. All of this is completely lost on my daughter, whose summer essentials list now includes a $30 pair of plastic shoes!

Errant Belief #2 - No matter how much fun it appears my father is having, be it playing on the computer, riding the jetski all by himself or playing StarWars Battlefronts on the Playstation, he is actually dreadfully miserable. My job is to find something to do that will a) make him happy by giving him something to do and b)more importantly, make ME happy.

Errant Belief #3 - My father's purpose in life is to drive myself and my friends to various places where I can spend his money.

Have I mentioned its been a LONG time since I've been paid and I still have 13 days to go? Not to mention I've had to pay a small fortune (by teacher standards) to the dentist so he could increase my pathological fear of dentists repair a cracked tooth.

When do I get to have fun? I'd write more but the Playstation is warmed up and my daughter is finally asleep.

I HATE Joe Rogan

As my daughter watches the decline and fall of modern civilization, or as she calls it Fear Factor, I am reminded, as always, how much I hate Joe Rogan.

First of all, it is incredibly sad what people will do just to get their 15 minutes of fame. Sadly, the show even included a Parents and Children special, so its sad what people will do to their children for 15 minutes of fame.

But the biggest reason I hate Joe Rogan is I blame him for the downfall of The Man Show. Yes it was sophomoric, yes it was sexist and yes it was stupid. But it was also funny, at least that is until Joe Rogan and co-host Doug Stanhope took over.


Luckily G4TV is showing reruns of The Man Show, sans Rogan and Stanhope and have billed it, "the way Jimmy and Adam made it."

And now, girls jumping on trampolines!

Who Grows Up Wanting to be a Dentist?

From Little Shop of Horrors

When I was younger, just barely a kid,
My Momma noticed funny things I did,
Like shooting puppies with a BB gun,
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done,
I'd find a pussycat and bash its head,
That's when my Momma said,

(Chorus) What did she say?

She said my boy I think some day,
You'll find a way,
To make your natural tendencies pay,

You'll be a dentist,
You have a talent for causing things pain,
Son, be a dentist, people will pay you to be inhumane.

This is pretty much my view of dentists. For the 2nd time in 3 weeks I've had to pay a visit to the dentist. I went in the Spring and naturally he found something that would require extensive dental work, which he always seems to find.

Let me stress, my teeth were not bothering me in the least. But here I sit, in pain and minus $1000.

PEOPLE WILL PAY YOU TO BE INHUMAN

My Nerd Score

I took the Nerd test so many of the bloggers seem to have taken and I'm dissappointed. I lost valuable nerd points b/c I had to take some bad RAM out of my computer and I quit using Firefox and Opera and went back to IE. Since my last name starts with an early letter of the alphabet and I had to sit up front all my life, I lost more valuable NERD points for answering that I sit in the back. Finally, should my nerdiness stature be degraded because my room doesn't look like this?


Like Ms. Cornelius I'm disappointed, although I suspect its for very different reasons.

YOU THERE! BUY THIS BOOK! NOW!!

I just finished reading John Pearson's Learn Me Good and I highly recommend it. I received it yesterday in the mail and finished it last night. The book is the story of John's first year of teaching, told through emails to a friend at his former place of employment. John's descriptions of his kids and their behaviors are hilarious. My favorite was Estaban, the child who yells out different answers constantly in the hope that one of them is right. I think I've taught some of his kin. (relatives, for you people not from Texas)

I don't want to sound like a big shot or anything but I got an autographed copy! John, a.k.a. Mr. Teacher, has a blog, Learn Me Good, which is becoming one of my daily reads. I've also written to this professor and suggested this book would be much more enlightening for his students than public school basher Joanne Jacobs' book.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!???? GO BUY THE BOOK!!!!

Other books I'm reading or have read this summer include:

"I Had the Right to Remain Silent, But Not the Ability" by Ron White

"Strike Two" and "Remembrances of Swings Gone Past" by Ron Luciano

"Skinny Dip" by Carl Hiassan

"Farenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury - I read this one years ago but it was interesting to re visit it.

"Imposter" by Bruce Bartlett. I didn't finish this one though. After a hundred pages of Bush is bad, Bush is a crook, etc etc I just wanted to scream, "Ok, I get it!" Unfortunately, the book is over 300 pages long so I gave up. At one point I fully expected him to say "Bush turned me into a newt!"


My favorite book? "The Unoriginal Sinner and the Ice-Cream God" by John R. Powers. You may have to had grown up Catholic to fully appreciate this book but let me throw out this teaser: God is a mechanic in a local gas station.

The Size of our World

I found this picture depicting the relative sizes of objects in our solar system from a website called The Size of Our World. I think it is one of the best depictions of the relative sizes of the Sun and the planets. I plan on using ALL of the pictures from this website when we discuss planets and stars.

When I attend the Space Science Educator's Conference in February of this year I also learned of a unique way to present the sizes of the Earth and the Sun. The Earth is easy, you use a hole punched out of a piece of paper. The Sun will be a yellow cirlce 114cms in diameter.

The world seems out of balance

I always check my blogrolling links to see who has updated their site and there is ALWAYS a little "NEW" sign next to the The Education Wonks. For the first time I can remember they had no new post for this morning. Perhaps EdWonk is suffering from the summer do-nothings like I am, or is it something else?

Bad ideas aren't just from education reformers

I'm not sure what to say about this one so I'll just post the link.

Looks like someone has some 'splaining to do.

Somehow this doesn't seem like a bright idea

Wal-Mart is greedy

A good friend of mine has worked for the last 17 years for Wal-Mart as the Express Lube and Tire manager. Three weeks ago he was called in and told all Lube and Express manager jobs were being eliminated. The reason? Pure greed. By making him a regular asst. manager of the store, instead of a specialized dept. manager he will no longer be eligible for incentive bonuses for doing a good job. My friend, who has been wanting to quit for a long time, has decided to take a severance package instead and is now loudly proclaiming, "My give a damn is busted". The picture on the left is for him.